February 2012
1 post
WatchOur wedding video.
May 2009
2 posts
Jay Beaman's 35th
Today is Jay Beaman’s 35th birthday, and if you don’t know who the hell I’m talking about, I can only feel sorry for you. To mark the date, I’ll break my near 6-month silent protest against her soft, pillowy bosom and list my four favorite Beamanisms. One is food related, one is a general bon vivant comment, one has to do with music, which sums up Jay pretty well. The last...
January 2009
2 posts
Barry Obama's Congress Luncheon
Menu:
Seafood stew en croute.
Brace of American birds – duck and pheasants on a bed of vegetables: brussel sprouts, cabbage, carrots and spinach – and a wild cherry chutney. Corn muffins baked in a corn husk.
Apple cinnamon sponge cake and sweet cream glace.
Children’s Menu:
Hot dogs, cheeseburgers, macaroni and cheese, french fries, grilled cheese sandwiches, cheese pizza, chocolate...
October 2008
6 posts
Cuntitry
In most senses, women are much better equipped to deal with life in the contemporary world than men, especially in the business world. They are more verbally developed, more sensitive to subtle things, and less prone to cock-waving. They are better at organizing things, getting people to do what they want and delegating tasks.
There is only one simple reason for why they don’t rule the world:...
Fuck.
Brazil is a wonderful place. Our food is delicious, our music is delightful and the weather is extremely pleasant. Even our people are, for the most part, kind and gentle.
But our police. Oh sweet mother of god, our police is something else. A delicate balance of corruption, stupidity and brutality creates one of the most inefficient and incompetent police forces on the planet.
The most recent...
Don’t put your root down, no matter what the...
In my experience (three words that should never be uttered by any rational human, but there you have it), the best source for speculation on contemporaneity are conversations with older people who have been unable to adapt to the massive social changes human relations have undergone in the last twenty years.
The only thing better than that is to overhear the aforementioned older people and...
September 2008
21 posts
Kriegsspiel Online! →
I have been a fan of Guy Debord for some time, ever since a friend (who subsequently shot himself – oh, the irony) lent me a copy of The Society Of The Spectacle. The man (Debord, not the suicide friend) was a bitter old drunk, and I have a strange admiration for bitter old drunks, so that was it, I was hooked.
One thing that always intrigued me at the time was the huge point everyone who ever...
The Concise Intellectual Metaclass Manifesto
Ever since we came down from the trees and started playing with fire, there have been a myriad of ways to identify and separate the rich from the poor. I use the definitions of “rich” and “poor” loosely; it might be more appropriate to say dominant and submissive, but primates had (and have) that, so it somewhat destroys the delicate balance of what the rest of this post is about, so deal with it....
Vote Like a Motherfucker
With all the hoopla surrounding the American presidential election, some Brazilians appear to forget that we’re also voting this year, for mayor and city council. Granted, it’s not as glamorous as electing the first black president (and, to be honest and shallow, the best looking one ever – sorry, Clinton and Kennedy fans, but Obama is a seriously handsome dude), but it’s still important shit.
...
Tu Vuo Fà l’Americano
Every once in a while, my otherwise very easygoing American friend Jay is quite miffed at brazilian anti-americanism. For some reason, it has become quite fashionable for the Brazilian upper middle class to hate Americans.
Hatred of a people is somewhat indicative of a limited intelect. Imagine lumping together every Brazilian; that would mean my actions, world views and opinions, as a...
Kill The Freaks
Uniqueness is a disease to be crushed by society.
For reasons I can’t even begin to explain here, I dropped out of college in 2004, and managed to return this semester, hopefully for the last time. In some ways it might be a waste of time (and money – lots of money), since I have long since decided not to waste any more of my life working in Advertising. Nonetheless, a college degree can’t...
Blogging With A Brain
Blogs are, theoretically, webjournals, little public diaries created by the early 21st century’s need for public exhibition. At a time where celebrities are the new messiahs, blogging makes perfect sense, to the point where the idea of scrutinizing the ridiculous minutia of everyone else’s lives is defended even by the New York Times.
Recently, I was having an interesting conversation with my...
Fictional Weirdness
We’re gonna do things a little bit differently today.
One of the (incredibly numerous) things that bother me when I have nothing else to worry about, is how people are impressed at fictional synchoronicity and intertwined stories.
It’s not amazing coincidences and awe-inspiring soul connections that lead John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale to the fucking ice rink, it’s a fat nerd about to OD on...
Swedish Meatheads
I’m totally off Swedish-Happy-Pop. It’s 2008, the whole fucking world is falling apart, do we really need two spoiled little blond scandinavian kids whining about how they would still want to fuck even if they knew about each others’ checkered past?
I’m not advocating protest songs or other hippie shit, let’s not get carried away, the last thing we need is a bunch of dirty people thinking that 3...
A Thermos Between Us
“Imagine this”, said Bruce, “you get a camera and then you go out and tape like a bunch of cool people hanging out like at a party or a club or bar or something and sell it to shut-ins.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Dude, come on, just bear with me here,” he said, looking down and fidgeting with a battered pack of cigarettes on the table right in front of him.
Bruce was talking so...
On Why God Hates Fags and Abortions
In early 2002, George W. Bush decided that Iraq and Afghanistan were problems. Despite any lack of evidence or even suggestion that either of those countries were a threat or that invading them would bring about any positive chage, he went ahead and bombed the shit out of them.
This is not surprising, all things considered. Whenever a religious fanatic gets an idea lodged in his little brain, he...
Who's afraid of the big bad Joseph Smith?
After Scientology, any kind of religious stupidity from any other system of faith just seems bland and unimaginative, but the Mormons still deserve some respect in the crazy-fuckers arena.
They run one of the largest genealogical research databases in the world, which is kinda whisky-tango-foxtrot until a few idiosyncrasies of the Mormon faith are understood.
First, it’s a crazy-assed religion...
August 2008
6 posts
ah, look at all the average people
As that overrated band might have asked, all the average people, where do they all come from? It is tempting to blame the rich for half the world’s problems, and point out the poor as the culprit for the other half.
After all, it is the ruling class that is constantly dividing and conquering the world, trying to keep it all for themselves and leaving everyone else out to dry. The poor suck as...
blog post titles are for pussies
The few (but near and dear) readers of my old blog will notice that I’m writing in English now (well, everybody will notice that, but only they will actually think “oh, my, he’s writing in English now”).
Why? Well, why the fuck not? Nearly all my friends speak English, and a whole bunch of them don’t speak Portuguese. Mostly, though, it’s just because. So now...