Vote Like a Motherfucker
With all the hoopla surrounding the American presidential election, some Brazilians appear to forget that we’re also voting this year, for mayor and city council. Granted, it’s not as glamorous as electing the first black president (and, to be honest and shallow, the best looking one ever – sorry, Clinton and Kennedy fans, but Obama is a seriously handsome dude), but it’s still important shit.
If any American thinks that Palin has the absolute hands-down monopoly on insanity, check out some Brazilian politicians. They are some crazy-assed motherfuckers, really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. And, as a cherry-on-top added bonus, we’re required by law to vote. All of us.
Here are some of the (surprisingly coherent and intelligent) suggestions and guidelines for voting, by our Electorate Ministry (This rational outlook on the election process will make any future posts about insane candidates even funnier, believe me):
- Don’t forget to vote;
- Vote according to your own opinions and outlooks;
- Remember that your vote will shape your future, as well as that of your family and community;
- Try to discuss your candidate’s platform with friends, colleagues and family;
- Never negotiate your vote, your right to choose your own future, in exchange for anything;
- Always vote for the best proposals and ideas;
- Try to understand your candidate’s true motivations;
- Do not base your decision on polls;
- Voting is your right, enabling you to choose who will run your city, state and country.
Brazil can be pretty fucked up at times (as can the resto of South America, North America, Europe, Asia and Africa – I think Antarctica may be the only reasonable place on Earth), but these pointers are fairly intelligent.
The only one that creeps me out a bit is the 7th – I would think it requires a lot more explanation than THAT, and the kind of people who need to be reminded of that scare the shit out of me. It’s like saying, “remember that people lie at times, and just because they look nice and smile a lot, they might actually be ruthless, greedy assholes”.
Maybe if you need to be reminded of that, you shouldn’t really vote. Hell, I think the right to vote for all citizens is a little bit wrong, but that’s just me.
